The Office of Homeland Security
Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Security
"We know who you are, we know how you vote"
As our nation prepares for this war we ask that you be prepared to make personal sacrifices so that we may insure US control of Central Asia and the Middle East. You like SUV's? You'll need the oil! A Welcome From the President! This office will coordinate the counter-terrorism efforts of more than 40 federal agencies, including the CIA, FBI, the National Guard. I know you will join us in our prayer that God will (only) Bless America! The President is deeply committed to securing our borders and bringing reform to our immigration system.I promise to keep Americans safe and free while fighting the hordes of terrorists both domestic and abroad. Just cooperate and all will be well.
Reminder: As of January 1, 2006 every American must carry a National Identity Card
Get Your Identity Card
Turn in Hillary Clinton
Turn in a Congressman
Turn in a Relative
Turn in a Pinko
Turn in a Democrat
Get Your Identity Card
Turn in a Commie
Turn in Your Parents
Turn in a Bus Driver
Turn in the Deli Clerk
Turn in a Neighbor
Get Your Identity Card
Turn in Your Teacher
Turn in a Gay or Lesbian

Turn in the Paper Boy
Turn in Your Priest
Turn in Ted Kennedy
Get Your Identity Card
Turn in a Teacher

Informants Needed
All calls will be kept confidential. We will ask for your name, birthdate and social security number strictly for tracking purposes. This information will not leave our offices nor the offices of the FBI or CIA.

Suggestions to Preserve Our Freedoms
We seek your help and support in rooting out terrorism wherever it rears its ugly head. To help you in this fight for our future we offer these simple suggestions.

Never Question Authority.
Foreign Policy is for grown ups. Don't ask Questions
Everything that happens is Osama Bin Laden's fault
Never Ask Why. Just do it. Nike™
Vote Republican. Remember, we'll know.

 Approved Downloads
Email Readers
News Readers
Subliminal Screen Savers
Encryption Software
Secret Listening Devices

Our Mission
Read Approved Media
Employment with OHS
Is Your Phone Tapped?
Find a Political Prisoner

Contact the FBI
Contact the CIA
Contact the IRA
Contact the NSA

Copyright © 1996-2003
bongoboy productions
Last updated on
Thursday December 15, 2005